#12 Bubbacillan

Today I am thankful for basic home remedies, and some store bought ones as well.

Puffs Plus. Oh thank god for the lotion or my nose would have fallen off my face.  My poor niece and my boys kept asking me why I had a tissue shoved up my nostril all day.

Tea. 17 cups and counting.  I love a warm cup of tea with honey to help soothe the sinuses.  Though Kyle says a shot of whiskey would do they same thing, and clear them out more effectively.

Homemade Chicken Soup.  The bubbacillan.  The cure all.  Well, not completely, but it does make me feel better.

Mucinex D.  When all else fails, and the Neti pot has caused an ear and sinus infection, then the OTC Mucinex usually does the trick.  Hopefully, it will tonight so we can get some sleep.

Thankfully Thankful

After being inspired by a fellow Playmaker talking about what she is thankful for until Turkey Day, I felt this to be a good forum for me to do the same.  So over the next 17 days I feel like I have to share some of the things for which I am thankful.  And I will start with this:

#17. Smart Wool Socks.

I am thankful for Smartwools.  Magnificent merino wool heaven in a foot tube.  I have pairs with holes in the toes that I cannot bear to toss even though I am trying to slowly transform my sock drawer into an SW only zone.  Their cozy goodness is an air cushioned ride for my feet.  I have tried the look a likes and not-so-smartwools, but none are "Like a cozy friend named Joycie Terrific."(Yes, P and F reference).  On cold days, they keep my tootsies warm, and on hot days, amazingly they cool them down.  And yes, even the boys have a few pairs that I found on clearance at REI.

No, they are not in my top 10 of really important things in my life, but they have their place.  On my feet.  And I spend a lot of time on my feet, so they are noted.

Gobble Gobble

A Dear John Letter... to Stop and Shop

Dear John,

By the time you read these lines I'll be gone.  We have share some good times together.  Savings. 10 for $10. By one, get one free. The double your dollar off coupons.  But recently, I just don't feel like you love me anymore.

Life goes on.  Right or wrong.  I ate out of date cheese.  It might not have been your fault the first time.  But when it happens again, I just can't take the pain.

The sun has come and gone, poor John.   I am leaving you for a someone who might treat me better.  Offer more varieties of organic and fresh foods.  And hopefully keep out of date items off the shelf.  His name is Dave.  And I will be visiting his Marketplace from now on.

Yours truly,
Me

The Incredible Shrinking Mudget

My second child, Mudge, is "3 and 3 quarters years old". And he is out-weighed by four of his 15-22 month old cousins.

He has always been small.  He was 6-8 when he was born, even though I was a gestational diabecca.

He has consistently fallen loosely around the 10th to 25th percentile for height and weight.  I fear he has been cursed with my maternal genes, as most of my family member are less than five foot three.

He suffers from NoAssAtAll Syndrome.  Often spending more time giving people a full moon than keeping them up.  Regardless of size of pants.  Today he was wearing 2T shorts and spent half the birthday party with them around his ankles.

We've tried the stretching technique.....

He.... eats...... very.........................slowly.  Unless given snack foods.  We have conceded to put on a timer at supper time since it will take him over an hour to take a few bites.  We used to play the flick game.  If we counted to three before he took a bite, we could flick him in the head.  That worked for a while.

Unfortunately he is just a grazer.  And would eat snacks all day long if given the chance.  It's not sensory.  It doesn't appear metabolic.  It's just him.  And it's annoying.  So today we measured him against the wall, like we usually do with the boys.  And you know what, he shrank.  I am sure it is related to user failure (ie me not being incredibly accurate) but it worked in our favor.  We told him if he doesn't start eating better, he'll disappear by Christmas.

Is that bad?

I didn't know it existed....

October 30th is apparently National Candy Corn Day!  Sweet Delectableness!

Here is everything you wanted to know about the tasty triangular treat and were afraid to ask...

Candy corn is fat free. So I won't gain weight if I eat an entire bag?

Candy corn has approximately 3.57 calories per delectable kernel, As much as a grape. An appropriate equivalent, I think. A "veggie" for a fruit?

A cup of candy corn has less calories than a cup if raisins. Well just give me another reason to eat a whole cup then.

Candy corns are built from the top to the bottom. Where do you start your candy? At the top!(sorry I couldn't help myself)

Yes, I do love them.  Thank you Philadelphia.

The Philadelphia-based Wunderlee Candy Company's George Renninger, invented this popular candy back in the 1880s. Can we assume there is a correlation between the invention of the delicious sweet and the publishing of some of the times most memorable literature like the Adventures of Huck Finn, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Sherlock Holmes?

So go to your local store and celebrate this most sacred of days, October 30th.
And when the children are in bed, you can indulge in this...

From the Food Network, here is the recipe for Candy Corn Cordials

Birthdays were so much cooler when I was younger....

For my 6th birthday, I wanted a pony.

For my 12th birthday, I wanted Nintendo.

For my 16th birthday, I wanted a car.

For my 21st birthday, I wanted to win a million dollars at Foxwoods.

Now for my 32nd birthday, all I wanted were Smartwool Socks.

Amazing how wants change.

If you give a kid a keyboard...

Ok. I know now how Laura Numeroff developed those fun loving stories about the Moose, Mouse and Pig.  She followed around a three year.   At that age, they have an innate ability to have the Oh-look-a-chicken syndrome and get distracted by anything and everything.  How do I know this?  Experience.  The following story is a step by step depiction of a day's event from not-too-long-ago.....

If You Give a Kid a Keyboard, by OT Mommy
Adapted from If You Give a Pig a Party.....

If you give a kid a keyboard,
he's going to ask to put on a rock concert.
When you plug the keyboard in,
he will decide he needs a back up singer.

So he will get his T Rex buddy, Bodie.
After setting his T Rex in front of the keyboard,
He'll get him a blanket so he doesn't get cold.
Then he'll get him friends, because he doesn't want Bodie the T Rex to get lonely.

But Bodie and his friends might get hungry as they rock out,
So he'll get the bucket of cars to feed the hungry dinosaurs,
Because as everyone knows, dinosaurs eat Match Box cars.
On the way, he will realize he needs his guitar.
So he will tell Daddy to get his too.

Then he will remember that all concert goers need hats.
After getting everyone a hat,
He'll remember that Bodie is warm with his blanket, ready to rock.
And realize his dinosaur rocker friends might get cold

And he'll insist they'll need blankets too.

After everyone is warmed with their hats and blankets

He will want to get his microphone.
But chances are,
After he gets the microphone,
He'll want to put on a concert
And he'll ask you to sing along too.
In the most death metal voice he can....

Confessional....

Forgive me,  readers, for I have sinned. It has been 4 days since my last entry...

As I am sure many of you have been in the same boat.  Cleaning up after Irene.  Ya know, she is not a very good house guest.  She used all our power.  Left broken branches all over the yard.  Used most of the hot water.  I know I will not be inviting her back.  However, her cousin Katia, may stop by in the next week.  I may put up a sign that says "No Vacancy".

But in the scheme of things, we were very lucky. No major damage.  We had access to water.  We also had family with power which made for shower, hot meals and TV available as well as an extra place to store food.  So minus a little sanity, we did not lose anything really.

Heck, the boys gained a few extra days of summer vacation, as did most of the area.  In the midst of rain, wind, and then clean up, they played fairly well will Boog's new birthday toys.  They rode bikes and searched for ants for his new ant farm.  Which was a lot harder than you think.  The big ants became stuck in the goo, while the little sugar ants managed to discover exits to their space age capsule.

The gruesome twosome were even able to have an extra special day with dad (HA!) and went fishing where they caught a couple more kivvers and a bass.  They must be getting the hang of that fishing thing, except that staying out of the water part... came home to wet shoes and shorts from falling in.  Wish I could have seen that!

All in all, summer vacation has gone out with a bang or maybe lack there of.  It was full of fun, scrapes, bug bites, and laughs.  And I bet that if either of their teachers ask "What did you do this summer?" Both will answer, "I don't know."  But I will know.  And most of you too.

Sunday, rainy, Sunday

After the wonderful day prepping for not a hurricane, but Boog's 6th birthday party, after coaching his first game, and being up since 445, I think I am ready for a rainy day tomorrow.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want Irene coming, but I will be happy just being home with all the boys in my life.

So be safe.  Get out your batteries and flashlights.  Play some games.  Help your neighbors.

Plus, I can't get "Come on Eileen" out of my head since I have replaced it with "Come on Irene"......

Unplugged doesn't refer to MTV anymore...

So I just finished The Winter of Our Disconnect, a story of a media addicted family and its cold turkey Thoreau-esque attempt of making their house screen free for six months... and here I am at the dentist with one ear plugged in and typing this on my iPhone feeling a little guilty.   But the book really hit a nerve, in a good way.

Since the time my husband got the iPod touch, also known as Daddy's toy, our life has not been the same. Though the toy is fun and has saved us from countless tantrums, I have found that we have had more Face to Facebook time rather than face to face time, especially once the kids are in bed. I found we would both be on the couch, watching (and I use that term loosely) a show but both on either the iPod iPad or iPhone tooling around on various websites. I used to ask Kyle to put it away during movie time but now I have found myself giving into the temptation.

The author, Susan Maushart, provides insight and research into the effects of multimedia multitasking on society. And I believe it.  I see what it does. Tweens in the same room texting each other from across the couch. People at restaurants facebooking in the middle of a conversation rating their dates, right in front of them. People posting they are at the gynecologist getting a pap. Do I really need to know?  Dont get me wrong. Technology has it's place. But not at the dinner table. In the bathroom. And certainly not while in the stirrups.

Since reading the book I have found myself consciously making (and sometimes not successfully) an effort specifically to cut down Facebook time, as I have used that as my vice during time outs, flare ups and what nots, to make "connections" and throw stuff out into the digital world to make sure I am not the   only one with one foot in the hole.  

But one of the biggest points I took away from Susan's story was that boredom, often brought on by overstimulation, needs to occur to facilitate growth in creativity, socialization and humanism.  After all, without body language, we would be flat affected LOL when someone texted us "GYHOOYA IMNERHO we all suffer from FBOCD" (see The Largest List of Text Message Shorthand to decipher).

Word of the day: PARAPROSDOKIANS

Ok, I don't always read my forwards because frankly, I generally don't care for them.  But this one, thanks to Uncle Bill, I did read.  And giggled.  So here is to a good giggle, gawfaw, or chuckle.  Enjoy!  

 The definition of "paraprosdokian" is ;

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

Ok, so now let's enjoy a few PARAPROSDOKIANS!

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17.. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive.. Now I'm not so sure.

22.. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30.. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Words of Wisdom

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."


So which one is your favorite?  I like 3, 29, and 30....

Rice Box, Moon Sand and the other reasons why I love my vacuum....

As an OT I am always using the messiest things with kids, at my place of work.  At home, not so much, though I am sure Kyle would disagree.  But when I do, I count my blessings we have a Dyson.  So here are my top 10 messy reasons why I love my vacuum:

10.  Playdoh-  It doesn't matter how many stranded clumps of the non toxic concoction I am able to stick to the clump I am holding, there are always some lonesome survivors on the floor waiting for me to step on them and drag throughout the house.

9. Hole Punchings- 1/4" perfect circular holes to make eyes, borders, spots, and lacing holes float throughout the kitchen during "bug craft" time, inevitably due to Mudget taking off the catcher.

8. Couscous- OK, we don't craft with it but my children like to eat it and therefore most of it ends up on the floor since the little one has yet to master neutral wrist control during careful eating and the older one insists on piling it onto his spoon to make it look like Everest

7. Rice- same as the couscous. Why do I even bother....

6. Sparkles- everything is better with glitter.  Even the table, the floor, the chairs, the rug, their hair....

5. Pencil Shavings- let me fill you in, Boog's teacher finally figured out what he was doing when he wasn't doing his work when she opened his pencil box and found a pencil and crayon massacre.

4. Moon Sand- I cursed my girlfriend the day she gave my son Moon Sand for his birthday because as cool as it is, it sticks to EVERYTHING!

3. Playground surfacing- Its amazing that in a size 8 toddler shoe there will be 3 lbs of sandbox sand or mulch hidden in it as if he were hoarding it to take home and add to ours.

2. Dog Hair- Maggie sheds as if everyday is the day directly following the winter solstice and her fur is white no less.  So the tumbleweeds gently roll through the living room, kitchen and toy room like a spaghetti western.

1.  The rice box.  The nemesis of my husband.  I can usually hear him swearing down stairs as he steps on the last few kernals that have hidden themsleves in the basement.

You're gonna shoot your eye out, kid

I wanna Red Rider BB Gun!

I am sure we all said it at some point in our childhood directly after watching A Christmas Story.  Well for Kyle's 40th birthday, he got one.  And now the kids are getting in on it.

I was probably around 8 years old when I got my CO2 pellet revolver.  I used to love shooting at the hay target in my backyard.  We had 14 acres of woods so I didn't have to worry about puttin' a cap in the neighbors a@@.

So at 3 1/2 and "5 and 5/6 quarters", my boys are beginning to experience the hick's right of passage.  Pinging a BB off a tin can and soda bottle. WITH DIRECT AND HANDS ON SUPERVISION.

Now I ask you, how old were you when you shot your first BB?  And how old will your kids be when you let them?

Going Commando...

Hangin' in the breeze
Swaying in the wind
Being free
Letting it all hang out
Free Ballin'
Going Rouge
Kilting
Going Commando


Much like the Scotsman in the old Scottish tune, my boys like to go without underwear from time to time.  I have had to refrain them from going commando during the day, so they enjoy their freedom at night.  Tonight, Boog decided against.  But Mudge whispered to me in a joyful anticipation, "Can I go commando, Mommy?"  Of course, honey.  "Yeah, I love going commando!!!"   
I can't make this stuff up.  I don't need to.   My kids are odd.  And I don't mind.



words and music by Mike Cross


Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize


http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/The_Scotsman.shtml

Messing with the kids is fun...

We love to screw with our boys. It keeps us giggling about our "effective" parenting skills. So here are some of the few examples we have messed with them, just for fun:

1. We convinced them that I, as well as all moms, do in fact have eyes located in the back of my head, under my hair. And because Dad does not have hair, he doesn't have them.
2. We threatened to take away Mudge's third birthday for almost a month if he didn't eat his supper or clean up his toys.
3. As previously noted, we convinced them that Kyle was indeed a real pirate. The real sword helped.
4. We ask if we need to cut off their appendages if they are complaining of a minor boo boo.
5. If it looks like a nugget, it must be a nugget, even if it isn't.
6. Telling them they can get up and out of bed until the duck quacks. Amazingly it doesn't quack until morning
7. Nana is certainly the creator of Mario Kart, so ask her all of the questions

Back to Reality....

Just returned from Lake Ossipee, New Hampshire. It was...

Liberating.  Except to read on my iPad, I vigilantly tried to limit any WiFi, hence lack of posts.  And frankly most of the people I would talk to were sharing the sites with me.

Pleasurable.  Actually read an entire book over the week, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Frustrating.  Now I have to get The Girl Who Played with Fire.

Gorgeous.  Couldn't beat the scenery.  Lake front property.

Tasty.  Grilled pizzas, swiss and shroom infused and bacon cheddar burgers, sangria, grilled chicken, steak, roasted mega marshmallows, and circus peanuts (thanks pam).   Now I am hungry.

Fun. Absolutely.  Jumped off the Pirate Boat with swabby mates.  Knee Boarded. Swam. Ran. Rode Bikes. Had a Pirate Treasure Hunt.

Relaxing. Kind of, since there were a total of 8 kids under 6 years old.

But all in all, a wonderful vacation spent with wonderful friends and family.

Acme Anvils hit my kids every couple of days....

I always giggle to myself when I see the boys hit the wall.  You know, after going full speed swimming, biking or playing, just the simple request or phrase of anything turns into a full blown wail storm of crocodile tears...

It kinda reminds me of old Bugs Bunny cartoons when Wile E. Coyote is chasing the Road Runner; kids are going along full speed them BAM! Down for the count.

Actually, I think Wile E. Coyote is the quintessential preschooler.  Just going and going, thinking it is a good idea, chasing after the fun.  To be ultimately smashed by the acme exhaustion anvil.

Slap Happy and Punch Drunk Go For A Ride

After the third night of interrupted sleep, I just didn't have it in me to do much with the boys.  And after a few time outs, he said/he said, and toy battles, I thought it would be just way safer for all involved to go for a ride.

I took the very long route to Wrenthem Outlets, to do a little shopping.  Stupid, I know, taking 2 boys to shop for clothes for me, but dammit, I needed tank tops and shorts.  And frankly, I couldn't stay in the house.  I was risking it, though.

Yesterday on the way home from the Explorium, Mudget proceeded to have verbal diarrhea for the entire 90 minutes it took to get home.  He didn't shut up.  Not once.  It got to the point when even Booger told him to "Just stop talking!!!"  I had to laugh and turn up the radio because I just couldn't stand it anymore.  I gave up on the kids music, and threw on non-offensive lyricists like the Dixie Chicks, The Band, and John Denver.  Sitting in traffic, I blared "Take me home country road" and sang it as if it were my own anthem trying to drown out the non sensical things from the backseat.

Luckily this trip was much less noisy in the back.  Mudget zoned out, periodically letting his eyes roll into the back of his head, while Boog snuggled with his blankie.  That was when I just rejoiced in my head for the little quiet time in the car.  It's moments like those sometimes that can act like the metaphorical Calgon Bath.

Just one of those days...

Maybe it was a self fulfilling prophecy, or I just am psychic, but I knew today was going to be one of those days.  Yesterday was great but it was followed by a long night.  I got home around 11 after helping out my sister for a while.  Got into bed to be woken up by Boog at 2-3 ish.  To be then woken up by Kyle's alarm at 545.  Then again by the Mudge at 645.  Sweet, sweet coffee was going to be at my beckon call.  I knew it was going to be a long day.

Fatigue has this amazing quality of exponentially decreasing my patience and energy levels, like those on video games when you start out in the green then poof you get hit by a rocket and you only have a few blinking red bars left.  So needless to say, my A game was in the far distance, I was shooting for a C.

Though my "bad mommy voice" did not rear her ugly head, her younger sister "loud mommy voice" definitely showed up.  For good reasons mostly. Like when Boog was tearing things out of Mudge's hands, when while playing in the pool, they were almost drowning each other, and when frankly, I couldn't standing the freakin' tattling and bickering any more.  Like I said, C not A game.

Occasionally, when I did have my spurts of good mommy, we had some fun.  Letting them rip, Beyblades not "poop farts".   Having some bubble magic time.  Bicycle obstacle course.  And of course , swimming.  Thankfully, I managed to get Mudge down for a nap, and some "quiet time" for Boog which meant I could actually just rest quietly on the couch to regain some of my energy bars to at least out of the red blinking stage.  It helped. I didn't feel as much as an ogre as I did in the morning.  I am hoping to bring more of at least a B game tomorrow, pending good sleep.

Have you stuck your feather in your cap today?

Yankee Doodle went to town
A-riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in his hat
And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle, keep it up
Yankee Doodle dandy
Mind the music and the step
And with the girls be handy.

Father and I went down to camp
Along with Captain Gooding
And there we saw the men and boys
As thick as hasty pudding.

Yankee Doodle, keep it up
Yankee Doodle dandy
Mind the music and the step
And with the girls be handy

There was Captain Washington
Upon a slapping stallion
A-giving orders to his men
I guess there was a million.

Yankee Doodle, keep it up
Yankee Doodle dandy
Mind the music and the step
And with the girls be handy.

Now if you have never looked up the origin of this nursery rhyme, you might be surprised.  My source for all knowledge, good ol' Wikipedia has an extensive history lesson as well as extended lyrics.  I was surprised to learn that it has ties to Billerica, MA.  It is also the state song of Connecticut. And apparently, Yankee Doodle may have been an insult in actuality, making fun of Stupid Yanks for trying to look fashionable by sticking feathers in their hats trying to be all the rage. Go figure...

And what is with the "And with the girls be handy" line????  I suppose this may be the origin of the "Hair Band" Era.... But regardless, if a guy had bigger hair than what I had in the early 90s, then he would NOT be handy with me!

Anyway, Happy 4th of July! Be safe!

If you are looking for things to do to celebrate the 4th throughout New England, check out: http://www.visitnewengland.com/new_england_july_4_highlights.html